Sunday, July 2, 2023

Music History Part 47: A suddenly busy music career, starting a business and a new chapter in life

Memory is a funny thing, and an elusive one. Meaning; I might have some of this wrong, as 1. My memory is not always accurate, like anyone and 2. It is from my perspective only. Any friends  who were there, feel free to correct me or add things I have missed. It helps! Also, no gossip on anyone here, it ain't about that. Personal details are on a surface level, and friends, girlfriends and others are re-named to respect their privacy. People in bands generally put their names out there on albums and in interviews anyway, and are not in the habit of staying anonymous, and therefore are named here. That said, anyone who is in the blog that wishes me not to use their name has only to ask.

Seattle Years Disclaimer: As I enter the Seattle years in this music blog, the above disclaimer goes double, because so much happened and there are so many details to cover in this 14 year period; so many shows, so many bands, so many friends and so much change in my life. As a result of this and the fact that the four of us who formed Treepeople found ourselves in the midst of a scene which blew up around us and attracted the eyes of the world just 2 years after our arrival, not to mention the 12 years I played music following that, I am bound to, hell, I will forget something.

This means two things: I will be coming back to entries and adding things to them over the months following publication, and, that the part of the above disclaimer where I ask for help from people in keeping me honest and in remembering things is crucial to them. I thank anyone ahead of time who was there, and, those who weren't there who have access to valid info, for helping me to correct errors in dates or chronology. Yes, I have the Internet, but many bands, scenes and things I will cover did not receive the attention I feel that they deserved and thus I will recall them mostly from memory, or rather, memories; mine and those of friends. Also, friends who were in bands which I do not happen to mention, please don't take it personally, just remind me. I have created a monster in undertaking this blog, one which I am determined to ride until the end!

Lastly, as mentioned, this scene gained national attention, and thus, needless to say and as we all know, many bands/people became famous, became rock stars, were/are admired by millions, etc. and etc...This makes another part of my original disclaimer even more important. This memoir is intended to tell my story, from my perspective. I have no intention of creating a place where people can seek gossip about famous people, nor is it about 'name-dropping'. I write of my impressions of people, bands, and the Seattle scene from the '90s into the early 2000s. I protect those who are my friends fiercely because a symptom of being known is frequent intrusion into their lives beyond a level that I feel is acceptable. Thank you for indulging me this disclaimer. Onward>>>


The romantic relationship ends...

I had recently had a conversation with my partner, an argument that ended up as a conversation, more truthfully, in which she casually commented, not even in any meaningful way, more like how when someone says, "Well, maybe all humanity is doomed!!" or, "Maybe no one is honest," but what she happened to say, inspired by our circular conversation about how we may not actually be suited to each other, was, "Well, maybe people weren't meant to be monogamous."

At this point in my life, as I previously covered, I was a bit overwhelmed with anxiety. To make matters worse, I was managing the café at this point (so I am going a bit back in time here) and at work any given day I would drink coffee in the morning, Coca-Cola through the day and black tea at home at night, all of which, along with other toxins ingested, ramped up my anxiety as bad as if I were doing speed, and distorted all of the other things going through my head about issues at work, issues with bands and the pressures of performing and recording and touring while being alternately exhausted and amped. I was a jangle of nerves and I rarely thought clearly or coherently, but I presented very differently most of the time.

So when I heard my partner say that maybe people weren't meant to be monogamous, my fucked up brain translated it as, "Oh, she is saying it is ok for me to sleep with other people." Oh, Wayne, you self-deceiving fool. This was of course not what she was saying, but, I ended up having a short affair while she was working hard on a degree and living an hour and a half away. This was after she had been there for me through all the long rehearsal hours, touring, recording and playing shows. Then I ended the affair and told my partner about it, wracked with guilt. I had never done this, it had always been done to me and she would never have done it to me. In retrospect, as I covered last entry, I wanted out of the relationship but didn't have the guts to just end it. As an older (hopefully wiser) person, I see the obvious; this was a terrible, cowardly way out.

We tried to mend it, couples therapy, you name it, but it was not to be. While we did become friends and hang out some more after we broke up (and it was actually nice as there were no stakes hanging over things, no strings and all that jazz) we drifted apart and didn't remain friends. This was one of the biggest fuck ups in my life and I would never do it again, but I will regret forever that it was at her expense which I learned this lesson. After we broke up I moved into a tiny, charming apartment in the Wallingford neighborhood and started a new chapter in my life.

Life gets even busier, and, working for the CIA

Within a matter of a couple years, my life as a musician got very busy. I was suddenly (or it felt like it was suddenly) playing in 3 bands: Violent Green, Faintly Macabre, and the Halo Benders. The latter didn't take up as much time as the other two bands, as we all lived in different places, so we got together whenever all of our schedules allowed, which was once or twice a year, but when we did get together, it was a flurry of activity, and my rehearsal and performance schedules became challenging to manage. But I was loving it, despite some added stress.

To pay the bills I was working at the caterer, as mentioned, and around 1996 I got a job working for Seven Gables Theaters (and Holden Payne was my boss at one of them) a chain of cool art-house theaters. I worked concessions at various locations, and eventually cleaned some of the theaters late at night.

After working at the caterer for a while, I got an idea to ask them if they would pay me to clean their office and kitchen weekly, starting it as a side gig to make extra money. This would lead to a cleaning business which I named Clean It All office cleaning (I didn't plan it but the abbreviation was 'CIA', thus the section title above...got your attention, didn't it?) that I would eventually make a living on. I acquired more and more accounts, starting with an office furniture sales company next door to the caterer, and for a short time I cleaned an architect's office in the same building.

Then I got the idea to pitch to cleaning recording studios I had recorded at, since I knew the people who owned them, and I knew what not to touch in a studio. I added Avast! Recording and Jon and Stu's (formerly Reciprocal) and eventually post production studios (that record commercial advertisements) as cleaning accounts. I specifically cleaned offices & studios only, I avoided cleaning houses because I didn't like the idea of going into people's personal space and lives. By the end of my time having this cleaning business in the late '90s, I had 9 accounts total, all of which I cleaned myself (with help from my partner sometimes - a different partner, of course, who will enter in the tale soon, but not in detail as she is very private - and a very brief stint with a few employees).

I was/am very proud of this business, and of the fact that I quickly expanded it enough to be able to live on it and be my own boss. I am grateful to the caterer I worked for and the surrounding businesses adjacent to them for helping me get my start, and to the studios who helped me as well. It was a huge shift in perspective in my life, to one in which I realized that I wasn't totally dependent on some restaurant or company for my livelihood, and that if I put my head into it, I could be my own boss. 

Of course, in this particular line of work, my body didn't always agree that it was a good way to make a living, and ultimately this aspect of it was also the death of it, but I am getting a bit ahead of myself (as I do). It would take a couple years yet to develop this business and gain more accounts. At this point in life, my only cleaning accounts were the caterer I worked for and the office furniture business next door. Doing deliveries for the caterer was still my main source of income for a time (and I should add that doing deliveries in the Seattle/Puget Sound area using only a printed Thomas Guide, as even MapQuest didn't exist then, and certainly not smart phones, in a city that had tons of lakes and nonsensical street layouts and was in a huge spurt of growth and change in the mid '90s...was stressful) but by the time I was working for the theater, I stopped working at the caterer doing deliveries; they became my cleaning client only. Music was still costing more than it took in, at least in terms of sheer monetary measure. But in terms of a life goal fulfilled, I was thriving.

Drew the Producer and Sample Master

Another development at this time was that Drew Quinlan, the drummer in Violent Green, had expanded his interest in creating beats on samplers to also include being involved in the Seattle hip hop community. There was a great hip hop group called Born 2 Create (AKA B2C - a name I have always been fond of, as it also described me) with whom he began to work. Drew would hold court in his small room, often when I came by he would be in session with 3 or 4 young Black hip hop artists, laying a bed of beats for them to rap over. I still have tapes of B2C and it all still sounds pretty cool, though a little crude production-wise, as Drew was just starting out as an amateur producer. Were he still among the living, he would laugh at me calling him that; "Producer?" he would say, "I'm just laying beats, dude," and then laugh that stoner laugh and flash that handsome, easy-going smile (god I miss that guy).



Drew also worked on his own stuff (often under the name Stereo Taxi) a lot of which was really cool, and on which I would occasionally collaborate with him, adding odd poetry or improvisational spoken word or bass or guitar. Ajax (of Last Gasp, LISAP Opera, Crisis Rebirth and other bands) or any musician or non-musician who happened to be hanging out would also join in and add some insane stuff over the beats. It was always an open, inviting artistic lab, and everyone who knew Drew loved him and was happy to contribute to whatever he had going on. These sessions are among my fondest musical memories.

Sometimes he would add instrumentation, and as raw or out of tune as it could be at times, it still sounded unique, and very him. He spent countless hours working on all kinds of stuff, and over time he became a master of sampling things and building beats, taking a huge tip from the warbly, uneven sounds of the Wu Tang Clan (who had by this time established a non-traditional, original method of sampling beats and music) and of course from the sampling art created by our musical mentor and producer, Steve Fisk, who became an important 'partner in crime' on the later, more sample based  approach, which quickly became a key part of Violent Green's songwriting as Jenny was also experimenting with sampling, often of her own voice or guitar parts from various recordings; unused studio cut ups, four track recordings and home recordings (Drew crafted some of his beats from similar cloth), which became a staple of the process in the studio and made what we did with beats and samples quite unique.

The work continues...

         First Faintly Macabre' demo tape (note there was no song called 'The Drawing', this was a typo; the song is called The Drowning                         

Faintly Macabre' was still plugging away during this time. The pace of this band suited all of the members, as we were all busy with other projects, Kellie Payne, the singer songwriter, played drums in a band called Wedgewood Bombers (Wedgewood was a neighborhood in Seattle where she lived in a house with various other musicians) a band she did with her husband, the aforementioned artist Holden Payne, with whom I would also form a short-lived project that never made it to tape or the stage called Wayne Payne, which consisted of me on drums and him on vocals, but this was a little later than the period of which I am writing here.

Kellie had also played guitar and sang in the NW band of note Bell Jar, a member of which, Paulie Johnson, would later join another Seattle band of note, 764 Hero, fronted by John Atkins (who also formed Hush Harbor), and other bands.


                                                                              Bell Jar 7 inch record

The truth is, as I have mentioned, Kellie was/is one of those musicians who can deftly play any instrument well, and she ended up being, over time, before she moved to Austin, Texas in 1999 for a short period, in 18 different bands, often 3 at a time. Adam Grendon, bass player for Faintly Macabre' also as mentioned, played in the awesome Seattle band The Kent 3, which was very active at this time. So Faintly Macabre' played when we could, which was surprisingly often, mostly small bar shows, and we managed to record a demo tape and a 7 inch record (with Holden Payne's art adorning the cover) at Electric Eel, the studio that the bass player of the great band The Purdins ran.



Also, The Halo Benders began work on our second record, Don't Tell Me Now at Calvin Johnson's house, more on that later. The amazing thing was that all of the music projects I was involved in remained compartmentalized, each with its own influences, members and associated scenes, with some overlap of course, as was the case with all 'alternative' scenes in Seattle and the greater Northwest at the time. I was able to live comfortably in all of these musical worlds, and traverse easily between them.

The Seattle music scene grows some peach fuzz...

While all this was going on, the Seattle music scene was entering a sort of adolescent phase of development. Nirvana had for sure put the town on the map for music in the early '90s, but they had benefited from everything before them that I have written of in the Seattle portion of this blog; the mid '70s punk scene (and some of the '60s rock bands before that, like The Sonics) that predated the Sex Pistols debut, the Punk, art rock and hardcore scenes that grew out of that, and the pre-Grunge (for lack of a better term) bands like Green River, Mother Love Bone, Alice in Chains, U-Men, our old friend Tad Doyle of Tad & H-Hour, and we of course can't forget the mighty Melvins. Kurt Cobain did give kudos to all of the above. But what came after he left the stage of life was the scene I found myself in, one influenced by all of these bands and scenes as well, but also by new kinds of indie rock that were emerging which mixed genres in more sophisticated ways than their predecessors (for instance, I was in Violent Green, a band that mixed Punk, folk, jazz, goth, rock, and trip hop). 

Despite all that, record labels were still hungry for 'the next Nirvana.' So there were lots of label reps still lurking (an MCA Records rep even sniffed at Violent Green for a minute, but then they were fired and that was the end of that) and lots of small indie labels were starting up. Sub Pop remained the game in town to shoot for in terms of the height of Seattle success, but the potential for bands getting on bigger labels was also very real then. 

It was in this environment in 1994 that Chris Takino would help guide Doug Martsch in getting Built to Spill signed with Warner Brothers. Sub Pop began to branch out in terms of the styles of bands they signed. Chris Takino's Up Records was a big reason for the branching out, I feel. He had shown Sub Pop by example that they were overlooking some great bands that were right under their noses (let's face it, two of those bands were Treepeople and Built to Spill! however they also graciously distributed Treepeople records - credit where it's due, and, many years later, Built to Spill is now on Sub Pop!). Of course, Sub Pop (along with his previous employer, SST Records) had provided a template for Chris to start a label with, and, Sub Pop had also helped Takino get the label up and running (for a short period in the beginning, Up Records even had offices in the same building as Sub Pop, the Terminal Sales Building) and in their own way they supported this filling of the void that Takino and Up provided.  



Up Records gave a home to bands and artists that didn't fit the 'Grunge' label, like Modest Mouse, Combustible Edison, Hush Harbor764 Hero, SatisfactMike Johnson, Rick Sabo, our crazy little brother band Caustic Resin, the wonderful band Juned, and so many more, including of course the very first Up band, our weird trio Violent Green, which couldn't seem to attract the attention of anyone except other musicians, who loved us. Everyone else was scratching their heads. We never would have gotten a record deal with any other label, of this I am certain. Thank you forever, Chris (wherever in the cosmos you may be).

Professional, semi-professional, or just having fun; Choose your adventure!

My attitude toward playing music at this point, or at least my expectation of what I wanted to get out of it, was shaped by my previous experience with Treepeople; I just wanted to play music I loved, and if I could make even part of my living at it, I was happy. 


                                 Violent Green and Up Record's first 7 inch release

Violent Green would never provide even that (tough Halo Benders would soon) but I was fine with it. And I believe, in retrospect, that Jenny and Drew felt differently. I feel like they wanted some of that pie offered by the sniffing labels. And truthfully, they should have gotten it, but I just don't think they recognized their own naiveté about the music business, despite their immense talent. This is no dis to them; it's more of a dis to the music biz. And the truth is, most of the Seattle scene was filled with bands who fit that bill. We were all young and just wanted to be heard. We weren't business savvy folks, and most musicians aren't.

Every artist wants a piece of, if not fame, then at least making a living for all the hard work, time, sacrifice and money they give to the muse. But the people with the money, especially at that time, want a sure thing, and if you ain't that, then all the money they front you (including in the form of your own records) has to be paid back, and suddenly you are just indentured servants (the fate of so many signed bands I knew then). They seek talent by basing what they desire on recent successes and miss what is right in front of them (as I have more than once mentioned, some truths bear repeating) because their motivation is not about serving art; It is all about serving Capitalist Gods.  



I was just having breakfast with an old friend and his family recently in Portland, one of the guitarists from the amazing Seattle band Imij (a band who will be entering my tale soon) Cris Omowale, and he mentioned how in the old days, we were broke but creating all the time; art, music - we gave everything to it, and despite our self-imposed poverty, we were mostly happy. Happy because we were focusing all of our energy on our creative impulses, and to doing it our way, even if it wasn't serving up food for the Capitalist Gods (this was very much Imij's story). And who wants to be eaten and shit out, anyway?

Wayne Ray "Rhino" Flower II, 7/2/23


Wednesday, May 24, 2023

Ticket link for Seattle Treepeople show in August at the Crocodile

Hello all,

I promise, I am working on a draft of the next chronological entry, and I know this has become more of a bulletin board of late, but my job is nuts and between the SOC reunion and the Treepeople stuff, life has been a little nutty as well!

Here is the ticket link for the Seattle show at the Crocodile

Wednesday, May 17, 2023

August 2023 Treepeople Reunion Shows

Hello Treepeople people!

At long last I have confirmed dates, venues and bands, but the only venue that is now selling tickets is The Alladdin in Portland, OR. I am posting now anyway as I know people want to plan travel, and also you can check the venue ticket sites to see when they post, I will also post them when I see them. ~ WF

8/9 in Boise, ID, with Prism Bitch and State Of Confusion ~ @ Realms
8/10 in Boise, ID, with Prism Bitch and Dirt Fishermen ~ @ Realms
8/11 in Portland, OR, with Prism Bitch and Patrons of Husbandry (featuring Rusty Willoughby from Pure Joy and Flop) ~ @ The Aladdin - Tickets here
8/12 in Seattle, WA, with Prism Bitch and The Purdins ~ @ The Crocodile
8/13 (previously incorrectly listed as 8/14) in Bellingham, WA, with Prism Bitch and Itchy Kitty ~ @ Wild Buffalo

Monday, April 3, 2023

State of Confusion reunion show venue change, now one night only; 4/21

FYI to anyone planning to come to the State of Confusion reunion shows. Due to a late building inspection the venue has moved to Treefort Music Hall, and will on be one night instead of two; 4/21. See link for info & refund info:

https://www.facebook.com/100076500909667/posts/240024465224249/?mibextid=rS40aB7S9Ucbxw6v

Be well, your Brothers in Confusion

Thursday, February 23, 2023

State of Confusion Reunion Shows, Boise, ID, April 21st & 22nd, 2023

State of Confusion (SOC) is playing 2 reunion shows in Boise, Idaho on April 21st. & 22nd, 2023. The last reunion was in 2011, and this may be the last (we're gettin' old!) Watch this space for ticket info end of February. 

Hope to see you there!

Poster design & layout, Scott Schmaljohn, artwork Cliff Green and Pat Schmaljohn, repspectively.

Shows played in loving memory of Pat 'Brown' Schmaljohn

Treepeople Releases Deluxe gatefold edition of Guilt, Regret, Embarrassment with Bonus Disc and Graphics

Hello all! I will stop apologizing for long absences as it is what it is; I have an insane job and have been busy with band and solo stuff, so at least half the busy-ness is well worth it!

Treepeople has rereleased the 1991 lp Guilt, Regret, Embarrassment (GRE/ 'gree' ) on K Records as a deluxe gatefold with a bonus disc containing songs first released as singles on 7 inch records (and the hard to find original release of GRE on Toxic Shock Records)! Watch for full release online in all the usual spots (Youtube, iTunes, Spotify, Bandcamp, etc.) on May 5th, 2023.

Here is the first single, the cover of David Bowie's song Andy Warhol, with a little slideshow I put together:


Here is a preview of the gatefold. (inside, Layout & design, Scott Schmaljohn, Concept & art direction, Wayne R. Flower, Cover art, Mike Scheer - Mike Scheer Facebook )

Buy a copy of the vynil here!

Watch for next post on a State of Confusion reunion in Boise, April 21st ans 22nd!

Be well, be swell, and give 'em hell,
~❤️ Wayne 🦏🌼



Sunday, August 7, 2022

Music History Part 46: A new band, a new job, a romantic relationship in decline

Disclaimer: Memory is a funny thing, and an elusive one. Meaning; I might have some of this wrong, as 1. My memory is not always accurate, like anyone and 2. It is from my perspective only. Any friends  who were there, feel free to correct me or add things I have missed. It helps! Also, no gossip on anyone here, it ain't about that. Personal details are on a surface level, and friends, girlfriends and others are re-named to respect their privacy. People in bands generally put their names out there on albums and in interviews anyway, and are not in the habit of staying anonymous, and therefore are named here. That said, anyone who is in the blog that wishes me not to use their name has only to ask.

Seattle Years DisclaimerAs I enter the Seattle years in this music blog, the above disclaimer goes double, because so much happened and there are so many details to cover in this 14 year period; so many shows, so many bands, so many friends and so much change in my life. As a result of this and the fact that the four of us who formed Treepeople found ourselves in the midst of a scene which blew up around us and attracted the eyes of the world just 2 years after our arrival, not to mention the 12 years I played music following that, I am bound to, hell, I will forget something.

This means two things: I will be coming back to entries and adding things to them over the months following publication, and, that the part of the above disclaimer where I ask for help from people in keeping me honest and in remembering things is crucial to them. I thank anyone ahead of time who was there, and, those who weren't there who have access to valid info, for helping me to correct errors in dates or chronology. Yes, I have the Internet, but many bands, scenes and things I will cover did not receive the attention I feel that they deserved and thus I will recall them mostly from memory, or rather, memories; mine and those of friends. Also, friends who were in bands which I do not happen to mention, please don't take it personally, just remind me. I have created a monster in undertaking this blog, one which I am determined to ride until the end!

Lastly, as mentioned, this scene gained national attention, and thus, needless to say and as we all know, many bands/people became famous, became rock stars, were/are admired by millions, etc and etc...This makes another part of my original disclaimer even more important. This memoir is intended to tell my story, from my perspective. I have no intention of creating a place where people can seek gossip about famous people, nor is it about 'name-dropping'. I write of my impressions of people, bands, and the Seattle scene from the '90s into the early 2000s. I protect those who are my friends fiercely because a symptom of being known is frequent intrusion into their lives beyond a level that I feel is acceptable. Thank you for indulging me this disclaimer.


A kind of disclaimer on Violent Green entries...In writing about the band Violent Green, at this time I am not in contact with Jenny O'lay, so I am not directly getting input from her, and, one member is no longer alive. In the case of the former, out of respect to O'lay, I am compelled to keep personal details at a high level, and in terms of Drew Quinlan (RIP, Brother), I am not in touch with any of his family to get approval of what I write about concerning him, as I did with my previously passed bandmate, Pat Schmaljohn (and thus felt better in writing about Pat) but I do not have the same access to family in Drew's case, so for that reason, out of respect for Drew and his family, I will also keep details at a high level. I won't make it cold and unpersonal, don't misunderstand me. Our dynamic as people was a huge part of the band. I guess what I am getting at is there are details that will remain private, to meet with high standards I strive to meet on this blog, even more so in light of this lack of input from the former band-mates of which I write. I hope I have achieved these standards. This  also brings up the point I always make, but it is important to reiterate; this is all from my perspective only, and of anyone whom I get input from.

Our odd relationships and their tensions were one with the music, and I think, actually I know, that was a good thing, a necessary ingredient of this band, a band that forever reshaped how I thought about music, both listening to it and making it. I owe that to Drew and Jenny's brilliance and imperfectness, which made me feel okay about my own imperfections, (only to a degree, as my inner, self-critical voice was still in full effect) and it helped me realize that even I held brilliance, in my own way, when I played with them, warts and all. One thing I can confidently say is; we gave a fuck about the music. And that was because this was a highly musical band (most of the people who got what we were doing were musicians themselves) and thus I will focus much of my energy in terms of the VG entries talking about that; the music, it's influences and forms, and how the three of us and what we brought to the band from previous projects and the music we each loved, created, eventually, a rich tapestry. It is worth digging into this world O'lay spun with this bizarre, dark, poppy, goth, folksy punk music from Mars ~* 

A silly Steve Fisk disclaimer: Steve Fisk is everywhere in this blog because, as you can/will see, we worked together a lot during this time, and we work together still. Deal with it! (Or, make it into a drinking game).

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My other blogs: Short Story Long - (Top of mind, conversational, formal essays, photo essays, etc.) Artwork, Poetry

I have been away a while due to life interruptions, the most recent being that I had back surgery in November,  but it ain't my first rodeo, and I am on the mend, getting better and stronger every day. I also got COVID then recovered from it a few weeks ago (thankfully I had just gotten my 2nd booster, otherwise I would have been way more sick). Before all that, during the height of this bad apocalyptic sci-fi film we found ourselves living in (complete with a fascist leader in power) I assumed I would be working on this blog and my other blogs (see links above) a lot, but no, I wasn't feeling it. Other medical issues, friends dying, an odd romantic online interlude with someone from my past (an interlude that couldn't be consummated due to the pandemic, proximity and other quirks about it, but it's cool, we're still buds) plus ice storms, power outages, heat waves, smoke-outs from wildfires and more made sure that I wasn't feeling it. Despite all that, I am grateful for what I have, and where I am at. If it weren't for the love and help of my friends (and the hard work of doctors, nurses and physical therapists) it would have been almost impossible to endure. I bow in respect, and I hope you readers/friends are all well, and hanging in there. OK, back to the chronological blog, daunting as ever due to so much that was going on in my life in 1994-1995. I will do my best to keep it all sorted. Thank you all for your patience and the notes of encouragement; as I always say in response; thank you, it is a labor of love.

RIP Tracey, you were truly one of the finest human beings to walk the Earth. 

RIP Jon Hale, now with Tracey, for they were meant to be together, wherever, forever. You were the one who, with your band Commonauts, inspired a 16 year old Wayne to play music in a band in the early '80s, and gave me the honor of playing drums in Commonauts when the band reformed in 2014, and who was integral to both the Boise and Seattle music scenes. So much more to say about Jon, I will devote an entry to him, when I am ready. And I ain't ready. Miss you, Captain Commonaut.

Wayne R. Flower II, Summer, 2022

Bye, bye bagels

My job at Spot Bagel had disintegrated after seeming to be promising for a time; I ended up co-managing the Spot Bagel cafe' by the Pike Place Market for a short time with one of the bagel bakers, a wonderful woman who I became close friends with, and am friends with to this day, she now lives with her wife and son in Tacoma. The manager who helped me to become a manager was a great guy, the definition of a 'cool boss,' but he had to go rescue the flagship cafe' and eventually left because new executive management had taken over in Corporate, who basically ruined the company over a short period of time (in my mind, many other minds) especially  responsible for this was one woman in particular, who came from the mega corporate tech world and made terrible decisions that crushed the family-like atmosphere created by the founder, who, as I mentioned, seemed like a decent guy to me. 

I learned a lot from managing. The main thing I learned (but forgot when I gave it a go again as a boss at a different company years later); I am not cut out to be a boss (I had also previously been a boss when I was foreman of a cleaning crew for an apartment building remodel, covered in a previous entry, but the cafe' job was different, I was more of an 'official' boss there). A boss has to sort of cut themselves off from being an actual friend with their employees, and I had a hard time doing that, and a hard time disciplining people when it was needed. I just never felt comfortable with compartmentalizing my personality in that way.

I did, however, learn to multi-task efficiently, and handle a variety of diverse tasks. For example, a day-in-the-life may be: the giant bagel oven broke down and I was calling for repairs and then right after that, sitting down to broker the peace between two employees who were fighting, then ordering what food and beverages we needed, signing in deliveries, then on to accounting, then, dealing with a pissed customer who was being an asshole to my employees (in Seattle in the '90s, this happened a lot - at one point the price of a dozen bagels went up a nickel and the yuppies flipped out, so I had my cash register employees keep a cup of nickels by the register, instructing them to give them to people who were being assholes about it, and after letting them rant, say something like, "You seem pretty upset about it. Here, here's your nickel," and they would storm out in a rage, often throwing the nickel on the counter before exiting). 

Eventually a new boss placed over me and my co-manager was brought in, and he was awful (and his reign ended after I left when an affair he was having with a very young employee began to interfere with his management, and ultimately ended when his young lover stole a bunch of money from the cafe' and ran). 

So I followed my boss to the flagship shop, and right before he quit, as shitty luck would have it, the aforementioned awful manager was chosen to take over there. Then came dress codes (always the death knell of any remaining coolness at an establishment) which were antithetical to the identity the place had always been known for; it's very character and appeal. One employee was a drag queen, and he wore modest make up and colorful, expressive, non binary clothing. They forbade him to dress that way, or to wear make-up while working (but women could of course still wear it!). We were all furious. The place just went down hill from there. I had to bail, so I quit.

One good thing that came of working at Spot Bagel was that I began to write about all the weird experiences I had there, serving uptight Seattle yuppies and dealing with mentally ill street people who wandered into the cafe, and this writing became a way to reconnect with Pat from State of Confusion and Treepeople, who had started an arts and entertainment magazine in Boise called Street Magazine, for which Scott (Pat's brother) also from the same bands, contributed to, honing his developing graphic arts skills, skills that eventually led to his own successful business that he still makes a living with today. Scott had just moved back to Boise in 1994, making me the lone ex Treepeople member left in 'Jet City'. The articles I wrote were titled 10 Reasons Not to Move to Seattle, a reaction to the mass influx of people coming to settle in the city then, radically transforming it in mostly undesirable ways (as well, the title was poking fun at top 10 lists, which were wildly popular then in print media (which is all we had besides TV and radio, Baby), and wonderfully parodied at the time on the David Letterman Show). I had a lot of fun doing the articles, it was my first experience of having my writing read by a wide audience, and the first time that I had deadlines for my writing outside of school. I am forever grateful to Pat for giving me that opportunity (I will be adding some scans of the articles and go into Pat and my collaborations, including the original publication he and I did of poetry and art called 'Food' in a 'Missed Bits' entry, draft already begun).

A New Job (A good one, for a change)

I don't remember how I got this job, maybe I saw it in the newspaper (that's how we did it in those days, kids!) or a friend told me about it, regardless, a small, well respected specialty caterer in Seattle, located in the upper middle class neighborhood in the furthest northern part of Capitol Hill, hired me as a delivery driver. They were such good people that they instantly became like family to me, and this job offered me stability and support that I truly needed at that time, as well as flexibility to accommodate my rapidly growing music career (and they were the first client for a cleaning business I started, more on that next entry). The owner was/is a wonderful woman who very quickly became a sort of surrogate mother to me in some ways (and a personal hero), from whom I learned a lot about food and life from; she forever has my respect and gratitude. Thank you, Jane!


 
Heaven sent, with Halo bent; The Halo Benders and God Don't Make No Junk - (The following account is based on my memories and recent conversations with bandmates Calvin Johnson, Doug Martsch, Ralf Youtz and Steve Fisk, to whom I am grateful).

Having a decent stable income was huge for me at this point in my life generally, and as a musician. It allowed me to more easily buy music equipment and travel to places for touring and increasingly, for recording, which started with an unexpected call from my former band-mate from Treepeople, Doug Martsch, who was then starting to become well known in the Northwest music scene and in pockets of music nerds throughout the world from his band Built to Spill

Per Calvin Johnson, when Treepeople was still together (and after I had quit the band) they played a show in 1992 at a now long closed space in Austin, Texas with Beat Happening, the seminal Olympia, Washington band co-founded by Calvin (who was also co-founder of K Records). Calvin by then had become well known as a musician, record label owner and all around promoter of the Olympia music scene, which was then at its zenith.  

Treepeople had met Calvin before the Austin show, when Calvin put on some shows for the band (a couple of which were when I was still a member) and at these shows, as often happened in those days, the bands exchanged tapes; the Beat Happening tape was Dreamy (I can guess that the Treepeople tape we gave him was probably the No Mouth Pipetting demo, based on the period of time). Per Calvin, he and Doug hit it off. A little while after this meeting, Doug had listened to the Dreamy tape and liked it. One of Doug’s first inspirations that led to he and Calvin ultimately collaborating arose from Doug listening to the song by Beat Happening from Dreamy called Revolution Come and Gone, as he wanted to use a sample of Calvin saying the word ‘revolution’ for the Built to Spill song Revolution (from the Built to Spill debut, Ultimate Alternative Wavers). This led to Doug asking Calvin if he “wanted to sing on this thing I am doing [ie, a music project].” 

Doug's memory of how he and Calvin connected is a bit different, but that is the way of memory when decades separate us from these times, and the truth of it is probably in a bit of both memories (that is how it seems to be in my experience, anyway). 

Doug remembers seeing Beat Happening for the first time when they opened for Fugazi in Seattle (I was also at that show, it was great) and he really liked them. He said at that Fugazi show, he remembers Beat Happening being kind of silly and cute, but when he saw them in Austin (at the aforementioned show) they were different, and pretty intense.

After the first Built to Spill record (which had gotten a positive response in the Olympia scene) Doug wanted to work with someone else who sang and sent a tape to Calvin, and Doug was really excited about working with him. They didn’t really know each other that well and it was kind of awkward at first (this I understand, as, like Doug, up to being in Violent Green and Halo Benders, I had also only played music with people I knew pretty well already) but despite that, they totally got each other and connected through the music.

They worked on some songs together like Scarin’ (Doug says this was his favorite song and at some point he realized that the chords were the same as ‘Rocky Racoon’ by the Beatles) and other tunes. A memory he had was that one night he could hear Calvin singing Scarin’ in the bathtub. Doug would “...wrap chords around the notes.” At some point it became clear that they needed more people to be part of what they were doing, especially a drummer.

Doug later called to ask if I wanted to come down to Olympia and lay down some drum and bass tracks. I of course said yes, it sounded fun. He had already recruited a friend from his Farm Days years, Ralf Youtz, who played drums on the debut Built to Spill LP, and who would soon become a musician of note in the Portland, Oregon music scene (Built to Spill,The Feelings, Sone, The No Nos, Ape Shape, Halo Benders) where he had moved from Boise (after having grown up in the same town as Doug; Twin Falls, Idaho) to also play bass and drums. The plan was that Ralf and I would switch back and forth on the two instruments, a formula that ended up working well throughout the life of the band. In a recent conversation with Calvin, he told me what he loved about working with Ralf and I was that he or Doug could ask one of us, "Can you put a bass (or drum) track on this song?" and Ralf or I would say, "Yeah," without hesitation and knock it out pretty quickly. 

At the time of the recording, it wasn't yet a band; it was a project. We got together to see what we would come up with out of the very different songwriting and signing styles of Doug and Calvin, which became the signature sound of what ultimately became The Halo Benders.

Dub Narcotic Studio at the time was in the basement of Calvin's fairly large house in Olympia. The basement itself wasn't large, though, in fact it was a little cramped, especially the small tracking room where all the instruments were crammed. In the next room were racks of Calvin's vintage recording gear, looking to me like equipment from a mad scientist's lair in a '50s B sci fi film. Calvin told me that the Halo Benders debut was the first full album recorded there (and he had tracked some eps there prior), and a week after Doug left, he recorded the wonderful Beck LP, One Foot in the Grave (a record I am a big fan of) and that both records are the ones for which he has received the most praise for production, and he said he just used a couple of SM58 mics and some 'crappy preamps.'

Doug had written some songs and recorded them as demos prior to showing up for the first tracking sessions for God Don't Make No Junk (GDMNJ), like On a Tip, and some of the songs he and Calvin wrote together, like Freedom Rider, which evolved from a simple (but really rad, in my opinion) guitar part Calvin had written. Doug used a drum machine for the beats on the demo versions of the songs he wrote. Ralf told me he remembers when he tried to play an interpretation of the drum machine beat on the song Don't Touch My Bikini (which became the unquestionable fan favorite/'hit' upon release of the record), Calvin said to him, "Ralf, you are playing the beat like this;" and he proceeded to do a groovy, loose dance (in that way only he can) and then he said, "How you wanna play it is like this:" and he then did a more stiff, rigid dance, so Ralf wrote a beat that mimicked the drum machine beat very closely (production by dancing!)






As I remember it, the first song I tracked was the song Canned Oxygen, on which I played drums and Doug played bass and guitar (Doug is actually a great bass player himself, as it turned out; I had no idea). The song is punky and fun, and I employed the drumming style I had used in Treepeople. This song would be on the first 7 inch release from the session, and when GDMNJ made the Gimme Indie Rock: 500 Essential American Underground Rock Albums 1981-1996 list, it was called "...a musical high point for both principal personalities [Doug and Calvin]." But at that time, we had no aspirations for such compliments, or press. We were having a blast with this musical experiment. 

 As you can hear in the Canned Oxygen song, Doug and Calvin's voices were at opposite ends of the scales, Calvin's signature baritone and Doug's higher voice, and they each sang their own lyrics, occasionally melding in meaning, which also became a signature sound throughout the life of the band, and I think it really set us apart from other music at the time, and I have never heard anyone do it in quite this way since, as their lyrics usually rarely had anything to do with each other in terms of content. But somehow, like Scott Schmaljohn and Doug Martsch's 'jigsaw' guitar parts in Treepeople, it worked. I asked Doug if this was planned and via email, he responded, "There was no consistent approach to lyrics. Every song was different. Some lyrics like snowfall, don’t touch my bikini, and Freedom rider were written by Calvin and I just made up background vocals using his lyrics. Calvin wrote the rest of the words for will work for food after I showed him the song and sang the first line "I need a couch I haven’t got one." and then there were some songs like Virginia reel around the fountain where we both just sang whatever we wanted and didn’t pay any attention with the other one was singing."

Steve Fisk got a call from Calvin about some keyboard ideas he (Calvin) had for the record, so Fisk headed to Calvin's to do some tracking (and he also ended up mixing the record later). Calvin had some older keyboards and Fisk brought some of his own, he remembers one was his digital Hammond. It was the first time Fisk had been to Dub Narcotic Studio. There were two beautiful hand-made speakers (he thinks they were made by Diana Arens, an important DJ in Olympia who had a great KAOS FM radio show called Free Things Are Cool) and that Calvin had a "beefy solid state power amp." 

Fisk's involvement in the band was somewhat limited, especially for touring, as he was very busy during the ‘90s doing music production work (for some great bands, I might add). Pigeonhed, a neo soul rock/groove band Fisk co-founded with Shawn Smith (RIP) was blowing up, and his band Pell Mell (one of my all time favorite bands) from his San Francisco days was still putting out music, and had signed with Geffen Records. As I have mentioned more than once, a lot was going on in the NW in music in the '90s (but do I really need to tell you that?).

The finished product that became the album God Don't Make No Junk was a pleasant surprise to me, in that it was constructed in a piecemeal fashion over time, and my involvement on it was to come in, track some drums, and head back to Seattle, so I had no sense of it as a whole, like I had with every other recording I had been on.

Ralf Youtz remembers it the same way, but also through the lens of a fan delighted to be a part of the project; "...For me, the mind-blowing moment came later, after I went home to Portland. I was living my life a few weeks or months later...and a cassette came in the mail with rough mixes of the whole record, basically in the order the record ended up [in]. With all that Steve Fisk stuff, all those Doug and Calvin performances they'd done after I left...I hadn’t heard any of it before, and I was like, I cannot believe that I'm involved in this!...I didn't talk about it [when he and I spoke for this entry]...this was such a huge deal for me, musically. You and Doug had been my musical role models since [attending] my first punk show in Idaho in 1985. Calvin, Beat Happening, and the K Records scene had made a huge impact on me starting in 1990. It was wild for me to be playing music either with - or at least on the same record as - some of my musical heroes." (from a chat with Ralf on Christmas Eve, 2021, at Dots Café in Portland, Oregon). I was also a fan of Doug's music, and having played music with him during his formative years didn't bias that at all, in fact, it enhanced it to see it evolve while being a part of it. I was new to the Olympia and K Records sound and scene, and to Calvin's work, but I quickly became an impressed fan, and as mentioned, I was already a fan of Fisk's work. Being part of this project/band was some of the most fun I have had playing music.

The record was received well by most music press and fans of Doug's and Calvin's music, and Steve Fisk's music and music production. Ralf and I were pretty much hired guns for this record, but progressively had a bit more creative input with each record, and Ralf ultimately wrote one of the songs on the final Halo Benders LP, The Rebel's Not In ('Rebel's Got a Hole In It'), a song on which I played only a snare drum (the only drums I played on the whole record, as by this point, I was officially the bass player) which proved to be exciting and challenging. More on that record and the other one later.

A Romantic Relationship in Decline

The heading above sounds like the title of some article, but it gets right to it. At this time in my life, a time when my life as a musician dominated more and more of my life and energy, my relationship of 5 years was on a downward slope. Because my life as a musician dominated more of my life? Not entirley. This isn't some alternate version of the sexist Kiss hit ballad, 'Beth.' This was about a young man who was confused about some things, and as I have hinted at, a coward about facing certain decisions that would have been better for both people involved had he faced them, made them, and it was about a young woman who had her own plans for life and forged ahead in the only way she could. 

We all make mistakes, but our mistakes are ours to own alone. My partner headed off to college up North. She wanted me to come with her. I decided to stay, because...everything I had worked for in my life as a musician in Seattle (not to mention the Seattle scene itself) was booming. I couldn't give it up, and it seemed like traveling back and forth to rehearse, play shows and record was too much. Yes, this was a big part of it, and when things like this happen, this crossroad that rears its ugly head, certain things are no longer hidden. In this case, one of these things was the simple question I faced, but didn't acknowledge as to what I was actually choosing at the time; What do you choose? Your music career or your partner? I chose music. At the time, it didn't seem so cut and dry, so black and white. It was only an hour and a half away! We could make it work! Yeah...

Ok, so that does sound a bit like like the Kiss song, but hear me out. The truth is, I wanted out of this relationship. I know that now. But I fooled myself then. Because she was/is a wonderful person, and a big part of me didn't want to lose that. I had never been with such a good person in my life; but it also scared me. Mixed in with that emotional cocktail, I honestly didn't think I deserved her, deep down (and as it turned out, I didn't). And my attention was scattered then. My life as a musician had gotten busy, crowded and complicated. And I had anxiety and insecurity issues which did not help (as if they ever do...). I had been romantically hurt a number of times in my life, but I was with someone who would never do that to me. And like I said, that scared me, which is of course fucked up, but...

…how does one explain the complex emotions experienced when in love? The stage was set. The script wasn't written, but I was writing it on the fly, as my partner took a huge step to improve her life an hour and a half North of me, hurting because that wasn't as important to me as my music was, after she had stood by me for 5 years of her life while I toured, rehearsed for hours and hours a week and was often engaged in marathon recording sessions, and as a result couldn't always hold down a decent paying job. A story as old as cis gender, heterosexual relationships themselves in the 20th century (and continuing to the next). I didn't know it, but romantically at least, I was becoming a fucking cliché. And I would carry it all the way. 

This blog, this memoir is, after all, the story of a person, in this case a young musician, but no story of a any musician is just about the musical journey. The music and the life are linked. But more importantly, there are many lives that are affected by this journey, and many people who support that journey, or, as my partner was doing at this point in the tale, are just living their lives juxtaposed to it, but because their story isn't the story of an 'artist', it isn't told enough. As well, the story of the musician's emotional life is not told enough except in some glorified 'suffering artist' context. Art is important, yes. To me, it always has been, always will be. But what I have learned is that these lives, the lives around art and artists (and often on which said art is inspired by or based on) are far more important. Because at some point, whether within a night or a lifetime, the music goes silent, the light is turned out on the visual art, the book is shelved and forgotten, the film or play becomes a fragment of memory. What is left is Life.

That's it for now, I plan to be more prolific with my blogs, especially this one. As I get older, writing becomes more prominent in my life, so I want to carve out more time for it.

Be well and be SAFE. The COVID variant out there is already very contagious and it is unusually hot out, so this Fall when conditions are ideal for transmission, it will be bad. 

Wayne, 8/7/22